From The Virtues Project Educator’s Guide
WHAT IS DETACHMENT?
Detachment is experiencing your feelings without allowing your feelings to control you. It is choosing how you will act in a situation rather than just reacting. With detachment you are free to do only what you choose to do. Detachment is using thinking and feeling together, so you can make smart choices.
WHY PRACTICE DETACHMENT?
People never know what to expect from someone who is not detached. Without detachment, you just react and let your feelings control you. Anger can pop out without warning. With detachment you don’t have to react. You can decide what you are going to do. Detachment brings self-confidence. It helps you be moderate. It helps you to be your best self.
HOW DO YOU PRACTICE DETACHMENT?
Detachment helps you to decide how you are going to act, even if you have very strong feelings. It is like going to a calm, peaceful place within your mind and looking at what is happening without getting swept away. Whenever you have a strong feeling about something or someone, stop and ask yourself “What am I feeling?” and “What do I really want to do?” Take time out when you need it. Look. Choose. Act.
What would Detachment look like if…
- Your mother asks you do to some chores and you feel like playing a video games instead?
- Your sister takes your best sweater without asking and you feel really mad?
- You really want to join a team and it doesn’t happen?
- Someone teases you or tries to start a fight?
- You see that half of a cake is left and you feel like eating all of it?
- You are really upset because your best friend disappointed you?
Congratulations! You are practicing Detachment when you…
- Take time out before doing something you would be sorry for
- Look at your feelings before deciding how to act
- Use thinking and feeling together
- Act instead of react
- Reflect before taking action
- Choose to do what is right
I am detached. I am aware of my feelings and choose my actions with detachment. I do what is right for me. I choose to be my best self no matter what happens.
WATCH THE “V”VIDEO
A young man loses his temper, resulting in tragic consequences. If only he had learned “DETACHMENT.”
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For more information contact Scott Feraco.