From The Family Virtues Guide


Gentleness is acting and speaking in a way which is considerate and kind to others. It is using self-control in order not to hurt or offend anyone. Being gentle means to be very careful. You can be gentle with people and animals in the way you touch them and the way you speak to them. Being gentle with things means to be careful so that they will not break or hurt them in any way.

Gentleness is moving wisely, touching softly, holding carefully, speaking quietly, and thinking kindly.


People are very sensitive creatures. Many things are delicate and fragile, but feelings are the most fragile of all. When people are gentle with each other, feelings are protected and no one is hurt. When you handle things gently and carefully, they are less likely to be broken. When you think gentle thoughts, it makes the world a gentler place.

Without Gentleness things are broken and feelings are hurt. Even if you do not mean to do it, you could play too roughly or say things that you will be sorry for. To be gentle, you have to think about being gentle. Otherwise, it is easy to become too rough. People who are too rough scare and hurt other people.


You practice gentleness by first “going inside” and deciding that you do not want to hurt or offend anyone or anything. Then you learn to control yourself, your body, your mind, and your voice. You try hard to be careful (full of care). You notice what your body, hands, and legs are doing and make an effort to move carefully.

When you play with someone, you make sure you are not hurting them. When you play with a toy, you treat it carefully so that it will not break. When you say something, you say it in a way that does not hurt the listener’s feelings.

When you feel mad or hurt, instead of blowing up and hurting someone else, you use your voice to talk things out peacefully. You control yourself so that you don’t hurt other people even when you feel angry.

Concentrate your thoughts on love and kindness, and people will see the gentleness in your eyes.

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